(Not) My Bucket List

Early this year, I was busy avoiding thoughts of my mid-February major surgery (the Hysterectomy Saga). Rather than face my fears of general anesthetic and surgical complications, I immersed myself in thoughts, ideas, and daydreams of something else altogether. Almost daily my fixation carried me ever closer to surgery without directly facing my fears. It kept me occupied. 

In that month, I both dreamed and daydreamed about introducing a new friend to novel life experiences. As it happens, most were also things I have not yet done, myself:

Simone is going to learn to surf! SurfearNegra campers surfing on Juneteenth 2020 at American Beach,
Photo courtesy of SurfearNegra

 

• One was taking surfing lessons. 
• One was taking a sculpture course (done it, want to do more)
  
• Another was taking part in a cleansing Inipi (sweat lodge) ceremony. 
• Another was participating in and possibly enjoying a traditional Maryland-style Crab Feast.

My Crab Feast Experience: When my family first moved to MD, we were invited to a crab feast with several other families at my dad's company. At this gathering, people bellied up to wooden picnic tables, lined with brown paper. Bushels of heavily seasoned steamed crabs were dumped in the middle of these, and folks bashed away at the bottom-feeding crustaceans, picked out tiny-bite-sized white meat (and other things), and popped this into eager mouths. There was also steamed corn and other sides.


Everything was washed down with soda, National Bohemian beer, or Budweiser. As an extremely picky eater, and after having turned my nose up to delicious Caribbean lobster a decade earlier, there was no way I would have enjoyed this sub-standard alternative--the Maryland Blue Crab. I have attempted to eat crabs in this manner a few more times in life, but never warmed to it.

Funny the Things I Choose to be Vain About

I have never liked the term 'bucket list'. Whether real or imagined, it's associated with infirmity to me. 

Once my surgery was in the rear-view mirror, I wanted to take some lessons from my month of avoidance. Rather than forget the topics of my  daydreams--which took place in an imagined near future in my life--why not make them happen for myself? Brilliantly, I coined the cumbersome term, middle-aged-to-do-list...looking at it now, 'bucket list' probably works.

 

So, I plan to make these things happen. This summer there are opportunities for crab feasting, surfing the gentle waters of the Caribbean sea, and possibly even a sweat lodge 🤞

 

 

Note * I have not celebrated my birthday since 2017, but will do it this year... summertime crab feast, may be in order! 

 

 

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