Has this ever happened to you? You've asked someone a question, and they answer, and answer, and answer with blatant disregard for your time. The answerer is so chuffed at the prospect of discussing themselves, or their general biography, pet peeve, their pet, or what-have-you, that they continue to speak for several minutes…winding out an egocentric monologue in the middle of your day. Your tea cools, and friends inconsiderately do not text or call you.
Next thing you know thirty minutes have passed before they catch themselves in mid-verbose flow…they may even ask you a question. But the format doesn’t follow the normal flow of a conversational tête-à -tête. Instead, it’s more like this, “I've been talking this whole time, and I don't know anything about you. So, tell me something about yourself.” Can you even respond to this?
People Love to Talk About Themselves
You know, I live my life by one adage—well, more than one really, but this is the one I want to discuss today—people love to talk about themselves. It’s a fact of life, and knowledge of this fact has aided me in navigating social scenes throughout my life. As the listener, or rather the target of a conversational onslaught, I tend to let them go. I just give them room to engage in this beloved activity, rather than try to force a back and forth.
It's a rare thing to find someone who still understands the art of conversation, and takes pleasure in give and take of true dialog.
I've recently come to communicate with several unrelated people who exemplify this human foible.
On multiple occasions, these past few months I have had different individuals interrupt themselves mid-lengthy monologue, to accuse me of always asking them questions and not offering insights into myself when we meet. I cannot say that my response is never accompanied by a knowing smile... a smile that references the odd repetition of this selfsame situation.
I wonder if it is indeed my job to ask myself a follow up or reciprocal questions to interrupt their flow of stream of consciousness. That is all. I wanted to make a note here so that I could consider some of these questions, and my responses for when this invariably happens in the future.
0 Comments